85: Chapter 13 (I) The Story of Amnon and Tamar (Part I)
The Book of II Shmuel
Rav Amnon Bazak
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This weeks shiurim are dedicated by Mr Emanuel Abrams
in memory of Rabbi Abba and Eleanor Abrams
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In memory of our father Moshe Eliezer ben
Avraham Yosef by Isaac Ely and Naomi Stillman
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Dedicated by Linda and Bernie Weiner
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Lecture 85: Chapter 13 (I)
The Story of Amnon and Tamar (Part I)
Rav
Amnon Bazak
I. TAMAR, MY BROTHER
AVSHALOMS SISTER
The story of Amnon and Tamar is an exceedingly difficult episode,
beginning with a rape in the house of David and ending with murder. There is no
doubt that this is the first in a series of misfortunes that befall David
following the Bat-Sheva affair and that there is a conceptual relationship
between the two. As the Radak says in his commentary to our chapter (v. 15):
This incident was David's punishment for what happened with Bat-Sheva and Uriya,
for as punishment for [what happened there], an act of lechery was done in his
house that led to the sword, in fulfillment of what the prophet said to him:
"Now therefore, the sword shall never depart from your house" (II Shemuel
12:10). Similarly, in the case of Avshalom, [we find] lechery and the sword, all
measure for measure.[1]
Before we address the particulars of the story, we must deal with a
background question. What was the family relationship between Amnon and Tamar?
(It is recommended that at this point the reader examine verses 1-22.)
Tamar is presented in the chapter as "the sister of Avshalom" (v. 4, and
similarly in verses 1, 20, 22, 32), but also as the sister of Amnon (verses 2,
5, 6, 10, 12, 20). It might be suggested that Tamar was Avshalom's sister from
both his father and his mother (Avshalom's mother was Ma'akha the daughter of
Talmai, king of Geshur, as was related above 3:3), while Amnon was only her
brother from his father (Amnon's mother was Achino'am the Yizraelitess; see
above 3:2). If this were the case, however, Tamar would have been forbidden to
Amnon as his paternal sister (Vayikra 18:9; 20:17; Devarim 27:22).
Yet the plain sense of her words, "Now therefore, I pray you, speak unto the
king; for he will not withhold me from you" (v. 13),[2]
implies that had Amnon wanted to take Tamar as his wife, he could have done so.
Chazal
resolved this difficulty with the assertion that "Tamar was the daughter a
non-Jewish female prisoner of war (yefat to'ar)" (Sanhedrin 21a).
According to most opinions, a single act of intercourse is permitted with a
yefat to'ar while she is still a non-Jewess. Tamar who, according to this
view, was conceived from this first act of intercourse with Maakha did not
have the status of a Jew, and was therefore permitted to Amnon. This is also the
understanding of Rashi, Radak, and the Ralbag in our chapter.
The Abravanel, however, notes:
According to the plain sense of the text and common sense, this view is
far-fetched and reason does not tolerate it. For even were we to concede that
David slept with Ma'akha before she converted something that is not mentioned
in Scripture and is not fitting for a king who trusts in God as he did, but
rather that she should first convert
Nevertheless, after Ma'akha gave birth to
David's daughter after she was already a Jewish convert, how was there a
difference between her and Avshalom? Both were the children of David, both were
from Ma'akha, both were born when she was [already] a convert and the wife of
the king. How, then, can we say that she, because her mother conceived her a day
or two before she converted, should be permitted to her brother, Amnon? And that
which they said (Kiddushin 68b) that a son born to a non-Jewish
maidservant or a non-Jewess is not considered a Jew, that is true as long as she
is a maidservant or a non-Jewess. But if she conceived shortly before she
converted, and then she converted and gave birth to a son or a daughter in
sanctity and purity, would it be pleasing in the eyes of God that we should
judge her as a non-Jewess, and permit relations with her, and that the son born
to her while she is a Jewess should be called a non-Jew?
The words of the Abravanel are themselves novel, for his disagreement
with Chazal relates not only to points of Aggada and exegesis, but to
matters of Halakha as well. In any event, his objections on the exegetical level
are clear and stand on their own.
The Abravanel himself prefers to say that Tamar was indeed born to
Ma'akha after she converted, and therefore was forbidden to Amnon, as she was
his paternal sister. He is therefore forced to explain that Tamar's words, "for
he will not withhold me from you," were "vain words of comfort
and she wanted
to push him off with straw." The difficulty with this solution is manifest. It
is hard to imagine that Tamar would have employed such a poor argument to
persuade Amnon not to rape her. Moreover, from the continuation of the story, it
seems that after being raped, Tamar wanted Amnon to marry her, and at that
point, we cannot say that we are dealing with "vain words of comfort."
It seems, therefore, that the simplest approach to understanding the
story is that of the Tosafot on the talmudic passage in Sanhedrin[3] and of Rabbeinu Yeshaya in his
commentary to our chapter. They argue that Tamar was not at all the daughter of
David, but rather Avshalom's sister exclusively from his mother's side; thus,
there was no blood relationship whatsoever between her and Amnon.[4]
This is also the implication of Amnon's words: "I love Tamar, my brother
Avshalom's sister" (v. 4). This may also be alluded to in the verse: "That
Avshalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and
Amnon the son of David loved her" (v. 1). In other words, Avshalom and Amnon
were the sons of David, but Tamar was not his daughter. According to this
approach, the fact that Scripture refers to Tamar as Amnon's "sister" does not
imply a biological relationship, but rather formal closeness, as both of them
lived under the patronage of David.[5]
II. YONADAVS ADVICE
(1) And it came to pass after this, that Avshalom the son of David had a
fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. (2)
And Amnon was so distressed that he fell sick[6] because of his sister Tamar;
for she was a virgin;[7] and it seemed hard to Amnon to
do any thing unto her. (3) But Amnon had a friend, whose name was
Yonadav, the son of Shim'a, David's brother; and Yonadav was a very subtle man.
(4) And he said to him, Why, O son of the king, are you thus becoming
leaner from day to day?[8] Will you not tell me? And
Amnon said to him, I love Tamar, my brother Avshalom's sister. (5) And
Yonadav said to him, Lay you down on your bed, and feign yourself sick; and
when your father comes to see you, say to him, Let my sister Tamar come, I pray
you, and give me bread to eat, and dress the food in my sight, that I may see
it, and eat it at her hand.
The verses imply that Amnon was not interested in taking Tamar as his
wife. The "love" about which the verses speak does not suggest romantic
feelings, but Amnon's lustful desire for the fair Tamar.[9] He is distressed because he
wants to satisfy his desire, but Tamar was not interested in a relationship of
this type. As a result, Amnon fell sick owing to his misery and could not come
up with a solution.
His cousin, Yonadav the son of Shim'a¸ came to his rescue. Yonadav is
described here with the unusual appellation, "a very subtle man," a term used
nowhere else in Scripture. Yonadav's keen perception is evident already in his
assessment that something is weighing heavily upon Amnon's mind, and also in the
sophisticated plan that he suggests to his friend. Yonadav's plan is based on
several things:
1. Amnon's playing sick clears him of all suspicion, for who would think
that a sick person in a weakened state is filled with lecherous thoughts?
2. Yonadav tells Amnon to ask of David: "Let my sister Tamar come, I pray
you;" emphasizing the family connection is also meant to cover up Amnon's true
intention.
3. The request that Tamar should come and "give me bread to eat,"[10]
as proposed by Yonadav, is strange, and would be accepted with understanding
only if it were considered the caprice of a sick man, whose state evokes
empathy.
4. Had Amnon directed his request straight to Tamar herself, she might
have refused; bringing David into the picture denied her the possibility of
refusing.
It is precisely for this reason that the question may be raised: If
Yonadav was so smart, how did he not foresee what would happen in the end? Did
he not know Avshalom? Could he not have predicted that Avshalom would not pass
silently over the rape of his sister?
It seems that as far as Yonadav was concerned, the advice ended at this point;
he never imagined what Amnon would end up doing. It stands to reason that
Yonadav wished only to create a situation in which Amnon could turn directly to
Tamar and seduce her with no intention of marriage, but he never intended that
Amnon should assault her and force himself upon her against her will.[11]
This difference may also be expressed in the difference between Yonadav's advice
to ask that Tamar "give me bread to eat" and the way it was formulated by
Amnon - "And make me two cakes (levavot) in my sight, that I may eat at
her hand." The latter is a much more personal request in two senses. First,
Amnon asks for "two cakes" that is, food for two people for himself and for
Tamar. Second, the word "levavot" itself has an intimate connotation, as
in the verse: "You have ravished (libavtini) my heart, my sister, my
bride; you have ravished my heart with one of your eyes" (Shir Ha-shirim
4:9) (a verse that gains special meaning against the background of our chapter).
Amnon was unable to control himself, and already at this stage he alluded to his
true goal.[12]
At first, the plan works as intended, and Amnon succeeds in getting Tamar to
enter his room alone:
(6) So Amnon lay down, and feigned himself sick; and when the king was
come to see him, Amnon said to the king, Let my sister Tamar come, I pray you,
and make me two cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand. (7) Then
David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to your brother Amnon's house, and
dress him food. (8) So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house; and he
was lying down. And she took dough,[13]
and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes. (9)
And she took the pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And
Amnon said, Cause every man to go out from me. And they went out every man
from him. (10) And Amnon said to Tamar, Bring the food into the chamber
that I may eat of your hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made and
brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother.
But at this point, Amnon loses his patience. Instead of trying to seduce
Tamar, he grabs her by force and presents her with a demand:
(11) And when she had brought them near unto him to eat, he took hold of
her, and said to her, Come lie with me, my sister.
III. NAY, MY BROTHER
Tamar begs her brother not to act on his desire:
(12) And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such
thing ought to be done in Israel; do not this vile deed. (13) And I,
where shall I carry my shame? And as for you, you will be as one of the base men
in Israel. Now therefore, I pray you, speak to the king; for he will not
withhold me from you. (14) But he would not hearken to her voice; but
being stronger than she, he forced her, and lay with her.
Tamar's words are directed at two separate levels. On the one hand, she
employs emotion:
1. Tamar uses the term "al" (do not) three times: "Nay (al),
my brother, do not (al) force me; for no such thing ought to be done in
Israel; do not (al) this vile deed" (v. 12).
2. She turns to Amnon with the words "my brother," in order to direct his
attention to the familial connection between them.
3. At the end, she adds a term of supplication: "I pray you (na),
speak to the king."
In addition, Tamar addresses Amnon with simple logic and lists four
arguments against the deed:
1. "For no such thing ought to be done in Israel; do not this vile deed."
The expression "doing a vile deed in Israel" refers almost always in Scripture
to sexual crimes.[14] Tamar argues that Amnon is
about to do an action that ought not be done.
2. "And I, where shall I carry my shame?" Tamar tries to arouse Amnon's
compassion for her state should he rape her. He will cause her "shame" the
result of this vile deed[15] - and she will not be able to
find a husband.
3. "And as for you, you will be as one of the base men in Israel." Even
if the severity of the act does not deter him, the act will harm him as well
he will be considered a base man.
4. Tamar even suggests an alternative: "Now therefore, I pray you, speak
unto the king; for he will not withhold me from you." As for the practical
significance of this proposal, see above.
But Amnon was unwilling to heed Tamar and her logical arguments:
(14) But he would not hearken to her voice; but being stronger than she,
he forced her, and lay with her.
In the next lecture, we shall see that this dreadful deed was only the
beginning of Amnon's wickedness.
(Translated by David
Strauss)
[1] The root
sh-kh-v appears six times in the account of David's sin in chapter 11 and
six times in the story of Amnon and Tamar in chapter 13.
[2] This is
similarly the conclusion from her words in v. 16: "Because this great wrong in
putting me forth is worse than the other that you did to me," as will be
explained in the next lecture.
[3] The Tosafot
also attempt to reconcile the story with the view brought in the Yerushalmi
(and followed by Rashi in his commentary to Kiddushin) that not even a
single act of intercourse is permitted with a yefat to'ar while she is
still a non-Jewess.
[4] According to
this, there is no need to say that Ma'akha was a yefat to'ar, and it
stands to reason that her marriage to David was an ordinary political marriage
between one king and the daughter of a neighboring king. In light of the beauty
of her children, Avshalom and Tamar, it may be assumed that Ma'akha also stood
out in her beauty.
[5] See I
Divrei Ha-yamim 3:9: "All these were the sons of David, beside the sons of
the concubines; and Tamar was their sister."
[6] "Until he
appeared sick owing to his great desire for her" (Radak).
[7] Why is it
noted here that Tamar was a virgin? According to Rashi, this is an exposition
necessary to understand the continuation of the verse: "And it seemed hard to
Amnon to do any thing to her." Since she was a virgin, Tamar did not leave her
house much. But the Radak suggests that this explains Amnon's state: "Therefore,
he craved for her especially strongly."
[8] "Because at
night he thought about her and he was up because of her, and in the morning he
had a downcast face" (Radak).
[9] This is
evident from, among other things, what is related later: "Then Amnon hated her
with exceeding great hatred; for the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater
than the love wherewith he had loved her."
This point
strengthens the correspondence to the story of David and Bat-Sheva, which also
stemmed from David's lustful passion for Bat-Sheva, who was also very beautiful
(11:2), and not from a desire to marry her, as we emphasized in earlier
lectures.
[10] The term "beriya"
is unique to the book of Shmuel. It refers to the eating of a person who
finds himself in emotional or physical distress. In that sense, it was used in
reference to David following the death of Avner ("And all the people came to
cause David to eat (le-havrot) bread; 2:35), and when he fasted
prior to the death of the child born to Bat-Sheva ("neither did he eat (bara)
bread with them;" 12:17).
[11] This argument
is supported by Yonadav's cold reaction to the death of his "friend" Amnon in
the continuation of the story: "And Yonadav, the son of Shim'a, David's brother,
answered and said, Let not my lord suppose that they have killed all the young
men the king's sons; for Amnon only is dead; for by the appointment of Avshalom
this has been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. Now
therefore let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that
all the king's sons are dead; for Amnon only is dead" (below, vv. 32-33). This
change in Yonadav's attitude toward Amnon is understandable if indeed Amnon
veered from the advice that Yonadav had given him.
[12] Indeed, when
David sends Tamar to Amnon, he does not mention the matter of the two cakes, but
rather says, "Go now to your brother Amnon's house, and dress him food." From
here it may be inferred that David did not have felt completely comfortable with
Amnon's request, but nevertheless did not refrain from sending Tamar to him.
[13] The
commentators understand that "mashret" is some kind of a pan.
[14] See, for
example, Bereishit 34:6; Devarim 22:21; Shofetim 20:6,10;
Yirmiyahu 29:23.
[15] "Make me not
the reproach of the base" (Tehillim 39:9); "Remember Your reproach all
the day at the hand of the base man" (Tehillim 74:22). It is possible
that this was David's exposition following the death of Naval the Carmelite:
"Blessed be the Lord, that has pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of
Naval" (I Shmuel 25:39).