Laws of Nidda

 

"NIDDA" - "TUM'A: NIDDA"

 

A woman who experiences ordinary menstrual bleeding incurs a specific kind of ritual impurity (tum'a) known as nidda.  A similar type of impurity results from other kinds of bleeding from the uterus or from giving birth.  As in most kinds of ritual impurity, purification is achieved when the cause of the tum'a has ceased to exist, and the woman immerses in a mikve (ritual bath).  However, unlike most kinds of impurity, a woman who is a nidda is forbidden to have marital relations (Vayikra 18:19.)  This is a particularly serious prohibition, with the punishment of "karet" - a form of spiritual excision from the Jewish people (Vayikra 20:18.)

 

One profound approach to the subject of ritual impurity views tum'a as a frustrated potential for holiness.  The paradigm of this state is a human corpse.  Such a body was only recently the abode of a holy divine soul; now it has reverted, sickeningly, to a lifeless carcass.

 

"RUACH RA'AH"

 

Many kinds of tum'a and "ruach ra'ah" ("evil spirit") fit this approach.  Since our potential for holiness is expressed in action, sleep is a time when this potential is constrained, explaining the ruach ra'ah present in the body on waking.  When attached, fingernails are an integral part of the soul's abode.  When detached, their connection to spirituality is severed, thus explaining the need to wash the hands after cutting them; the same insight applies to the need to wash hands after letting blood (SA OC 4:18-19.)

 

"TUM'A: KERI (having emitted seed)"

 

This approach applies with particular force to a woman who menstruates or to a man who has emitted seed.  In this case, the lost potential for life is not only in the fact that part of the body has been lost (the menstrual blood or the seminal fluid) but in the fact that in each case there is also a lost opportunity to create new life.  A woman usually only experiences a period if her ovum has not been fertilized; a man's seed likewise embodies his contribution to the couple's ability to create new life.  Therefore we can understand that neither nidda nor keri are MERELY ruach ra'ah but rather actual tum'a.

 

Even if the woman gives birth, or the man's seed results in conception, so that the potential for new life is realized and not frustrated, this potential is still lost to the person himself.  The newborn baby is vibrant with life, but this life is no longer part of the mother; the same goes for the new embryo, which is no longer part of the father.  So the above explanation extends to the case of the tum'a of a new mother or the keri of a man who had relations that resulted in conception.

 

We have yet to understand the particular prohibitions relating to each category of tum'a.  Usually, tum'a limits entry into different areas of the Temple, as well as contact with sanctified food.  This is true even today.  Those who are lenient to visit the permitted areas of the Temple Mount go first to the mikve, and a Kohen (priest) who wants to eat challa (the small amount of dough set aside for the Kohen when baking bread) from outside Eretz Yisrael must also immerse (Rema OC 457:2.)

 

However, the tum'a of nidda gives the woman the status of an erva ("nakedness," prohibited sexual immorality) - a term which is usually reserved for a woman who is forbidden to marry because of a close family relation.  Such a prohibition on relations with household members is present in most cultures, and clearly distinguishes between ordinary family intimacy and more profound marital intimacy.

 

In a way, it shouldn't be surprising that a wife should be considered an erva.  After all, each member of the married couple is also a family member with respect to the respective spouse!  A periodic status of erva between the partners emphasizes that ordinary family intimacy must also be part of their relationship.  Of course, nidda applies to all women and not only to one's wife.  This implies that any relationship of physical intimacy should be within the framework of a family.

 

The occurrence of this period of erva status coincides with the woman's cycle of tum'a.  The marital relationship is intended to be one of intense spiritual intimacy, and so any tum'a can interfere with this.  For this reason, many men also immerse before marital intimacy.

 

By creating a period in time when a woman is considered an erva, a close relative, the nidda prohibition teaches that physical intimacy requires a foundation of ordinary family intimacy.  And by limiting the time of physical closeness to the period of a women's purity, it teaches that marital union is to encompass a deep spiritual communion.

 

 

CHAPTERS 154 and 155 – THE WOMAN'S MONTHLY CYCLE

 

In the last chapter, we learned that when a woman experiences her monthly cycle she is considered an erva and is forbidden to her husband (or to any other man).  The following two chapters discuss a Rabbinical extension of this prohibition: the separation "adjacent" to the period.  That is, relations are also forbidden during that day or night when the onset of menstruation is anticipated. 

 

If the woman's period is quite regular, then the calculation of this time is straightforward.  If the period is irregular, then the calculation is somewhat more complicated, and assumes that the next period will recur either after an average interval of one month, or else at the same interval as the woman experienced between her previous two periods.

 

Since the onset of bleeding is particularly likely during the half-day period immediately prior to the assumed onset of the menstrual cycle, there is a great danger that marital relations could take place when the woman is actually a nidda, or alternatively that she should become a nidda during relations.  After the woman is certain that this time has passed without the beginning of bleeding, then the couple can resume their normal permitted state.  Even though we know that menstruation is approaching, there is no particular time of exceptional concern.  And of course the possibility exists that the woman is pregnant and that no period is imminent.

 

MAKING A FENCE FOR THE TORAH

 

The main message of this law is plain.  The prohibition of having relations when the woman is nidda is so severe that our Sages created a "fence," an additional stricture, to make certain that the Torah Law is not violated.  This is a basic principle of halakha, mentioned in the very first mishna of tractate Avot which documents the transmission of our legal tradition: "Be measured in judgment, raise many students, and make a fence to the Torah."  Such fences are particularly necessary when there is a strong temptation to defy the underlying law, which exists in all cases of forbidden relations since the sexual urge is so powerful.

 

In the context of our explanation from the last chapter, the message is that the reservation of times where the husband-wife relationship is one of familiarity and not of romance is a vital element in marriage.  These times are a necessity and not a luxury, and need to be scrupulously guarded.

 

THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE AND THE SANCTITY OF THE MIKDASH

 

However, our Sages and commentators provide additional dimensions to this stricture.  The Talmud tells us that this prohibition can be learned from the verse (Vayikra 16:31), "Separate the children of Israel from their defilement, that they should not die in their defilement, by defiling My dwelling which is among them" (Shavuot 18b.)

 

The above verse primarily warns one who is in a state of tum'a to keep at a distance from the holy Temple.  Indeed, most kinds of tum'a have little practical significance outside of the Temple; usually the only practical difference between a person who is pure and one who is defiled is that the latter can not enter certain areas of the Temple or its surroundings.

 

The exception is the prohibition of nidda.  This form of "defilement" alone forbids an everyday activity: marital relations.  This legal parallel, together with the textual analogy just mentioned, suggests that the encounter of husband and wife is comparable in importance and sanctity to our encounter with our most sacred site, the Temple in Jerusalem.

 

Actually, during the period when the woman experiences no menstrual cycle, such as the case of a young bride, a pregnant woman, or after menopause, husband and wife live together without any halakhic demand for periods of separation.  These separations are necessary only during the period of her life when the woman is menstruating, that is, when she is capable of conception.

 

PARTNERS IN CREATION

 

So more precisely, it is particularly when marital relations have the possibility of leading to pregnancy that they are likened to approaching the Temple.  We have encountered this likeness before.  In the chapter on honoring one's parents (143), we elaborated on the fact that it is particularly in these two activities, building the Temple and having children, that man is considered a partner in creation with God.

 

These two models of partnership are complementary.  By having children we extend the ambit of holiness, adding to the number of unique human spirits - each of whom presents a unique expression of God's image.  By building the Temple we firmly establish the center, establishing a unique central channel through which the Divine light can enter the world and spread to all of its agents: human beings, and particularly the Jewish people.

 

As we explained there, our partnership with God is so awesome that the Torah needs to remind us that we are only junior partners in the work of creation, and building the Temple and honoring parents do not take precedence over honoring God by keeping Shabbat.  One way in which we maintain this sense of awe is by creating distance, by forbidding approach to these precincts during particular times and physiological states.

 

This approach underscores what we explained in chapter 150: marital relations in Judaism are considered holy, but only because we are scrupulous to conduct them in a state of holiness and in a sanctified manner. 

 

This awe doesn't mean that the couple needs to limit their feelings of personal, emotional and physical intimacy when they are together.  On the contrary, the separation of nidda is meant to enhance this aspect of the relationship as well.  "Rabbi Meir used to say, why does the Torah forbid the nidda for seven days?  Since if the husband is too familiar with his wife, he may feel a sense of contempt.  The Torah said, let her be distanced for seven days so that she may be as delightful to her husband as at the moment she came under the wedding canopy" (Nidda 31b.)

 

However, the likeness of marriage to the Temple calls for an appropriate consciousness and awe of the great spiritual potential of the marriage bond, particularly when the marital union has the potential to bring a new holy soul into the world.

 

HAVDALA – MAKING A DISTINCTION

 

The connection between the monthly separation of husband and wife and the awe of their potential for creating new life is underscored by the Talmudic passage we cited.  After extending the idea of separation from the Temple to the monthly separation of husband and wife, the Talmud asserts that a couple who are careful to maintain separation at the time of the anticipated period will be rewarded with sons who are worthy of being Torah authorities (Shavuot 18b.)

 

Our Sages then hint at a remarkable analogy.  The passage goes on to make the exact same statement regarding someone who is careful to make havdala (the "distinguishing" ceremony) on wine as Shabbat goes out.  He too will be rewarded with sons worthy of being Torah authorities.  It seems as if this separation adjacent to the menstrual period is analogous to havdala.

 

The Maharal (Rabbi Yehuda Loew of Prague) explains that in both these cases it is necessary to make a positive distinction: between ritual purity and impurity, and between Shabbat and the weekday.  A proper recognition of the holiness of Shabbat demands that we not only refrain from work on that day but that we also make an active demarcation of its arrival by making kiddush ("sanctification") and of its departure by making havdala.  Shabbat is distinguished from weekdays not only by its laws but also by its very essence.

 

A similar idea is expressed in the Zohar.  While the word "separate," "hiz'hartem," in the verse we cited "Separate the children of Israel from their defilement" seems to come from the root "nazar" meaning "to separate" or perhaps from "zahir" meaning "to warn," the Zohar connects it with the word "zar" - "alien."  The idea being that tum'a is something essentially alien from the sanctified world of the Temple (Zohar Metzora, III, 55a.)

 

By citing the verse from Vayikra and by the implied analogy to Shabbat, the Talmud extends this concept to marital purity.  A proper recognition of its sanctity demands that its arrival and departure be marked by demonstrative acts.  With respect to marital relations by immersion in the mikve which inaugurates the period of purity and by the separation adjacent to the period which makes a symbolic demarcation at its departure (Chidushei Aggadot.)

 

PHASES OF THE BODY AND PHASES OF THE MOON

 

The "average period" when the onset of menstruation is anticipated for a woman who does not have a regular period is simply the length of the lunar month.  This reflects a physiological regularity noted in antiquity, that the menstrual cycle is approximately synchronized with the phases of the moon.

 

In chapter 97 we pointed out that our tradition acknowledges this special connection between women and the moon, by making Rosh Chodesh ("Head of the month") specifically a women's holiday.  There we explained that the waxing and waning of the moon depending on its orientation towards the sun reminds us that the spirituality of this world originates with God, and that the material world expresses His holiness only to the extent that we turn ourselves towards Him.  Jewish women displayed a particularly high awareness of this dependence, and thus merited having Rosh Chodesh made into their holiday.

 

The approximate accord between the woman's cycle and those of the moon, formalized in halakha as the expected length of the cycle, inject this consciousness into the marital bond as well.  Man and wife succeed in bringing holiness into the world, both in their own relationship and through the birth of children.  This is only true to the extent that they recognize that while the human spirit and the relation between man and woman are holy, this holiness originates with God, and His authorship needs to be acknowledged by alternating times of intimacy with those of distance.