Studying Torah And Other Mourning Prohibitions

 

The mourner is forbidden to study Torah.  The source for this prohibition, like many other rules of mourning, is in God's special commandment to Yechezkel not to mourn over his wife, in which he is told, "Sigh in silence" (Yechezkel 24:17, Mo'ed Katan 15a.)

 

We have seen the theme of the mourner's silence before: the mourner's meal includes eggs or lentils which like the mourner have "no mouth" (chapter 205); and visitors don't begin talking until the mourner initiates conversation, since he may be too overcome by grief to speak at all (chapter 207).

 

Actually, the mourner is not required to be silent.  It is specifically Torah study which is forbidden to him.  The Talmud explains that learning Torah is special.  The Psalm says (Tehillim 19:9) "The commandments of God are straight, rejoicing the heart" (Ta'anit 30a.)  Ideally, Torah study should be our greatest joy; the mourner on the other hand is supposed to be occupied with sorrow.

 

Let us develop this idea a bit more.  We have mentioned in several places that the essence of "simcha," of joy, is the breaking down of barriers between people (Chapters 45, 49, 100.)  Whereas the essence of sorrow is separation - which is why the greatest sorrow is that of bereavement, the most final of separations.

 

But even the joy of connection with other people is only due to their Divine image - ultimately joy means overcoming our alienation from God.  While we draw close to God through acts of kindness, we come to know God primarily through the study of His Torah.  Learning Torah is more than just an enjoyable experience; it embodies the essence of joy, which is establishing a living connection with God.

 

Even in interpersonal relations, true intimacy is possible only among people who themselves have a degree of personal integration.  "Love your neighbor as yourself" – we can only love our fellow human being when we love and esteem ourselves as well. In the first week following the death the mourner is shattered; he is only beginning to rehabilitate his personality after his tragic loss.  His ability to properly overcome his alienation from the Creator can then begin after the first week of mourning.

 

A TORAH OF LIFE

 

The Torah is a Torah of life, a Torah that commands us to choose life and shun death (Devarim 30:19.)  "Your dead will live, my corpses will arise; awake and rejoice, dwellers in the dust! For Your dew is the dew of light, and the land will expel its dead" (Yeshayahu 26:19.)  The light of God is Torah - as our Sages learned from this verse: "Anyone who uses the light of the Torah, the light of the Torah gives him life" (Ketubot 111b.)

 

Life is the fusion of spirit and matter.  The Torah, which is the innermost wisdom of the Creator translated into mundane bodily actions, is the ultimate expression of the infusion of spirit, of holiness, into this world.  Torah is the essence of life.  The beginning of mourning is a time of preoccupation with death and therefore Torah study is inappropriate.

 

GREETINGS

 

From God's command to Yechezkel to "sigh in silence," we learn also that the mourner is forbidden in the greeting of "shalom" (Mo'ed Katan 15a.)  Greeting our fellow man is also an expression of intimacy, which the mourner is not yet able to establish.  As we have just explained, there is a close connection between overcoming alienation among people and overcoming our alienation from God (see also our explanation on chapter 10:2.)

 

 

Chapter 211 – Other Prohibitions of the Mourner

 

PROHIBITION ON SITTING ON CHAIRS, LAUNDERED GARMENTS, AND CUTTING THE HAIR

 

In chapter 209 we explained that these activities are special expressions of our human elevation and dignity, and are forbidden to the mourner who is in a lowered state due to his loss.

 

We can add an additional, complementary explanation for the haircut prohibition, based on the special symbolism of hair in Chassidic thought.

 

Hair grows out of the head, which is the very seat of our reason and our vitality, yet the hair itself is inanimate.  Hair at once obscures our heads, and also adorns and beautifies them.

 

This can be viewed as a parallel to the role of matter.  The world was created by God's word, yet it itself is inanimate.  Our material nature has the effect of obscuring the spirituality in the world, as it can draw us into preoccupation with material pleasures without remembering their connection to their Divine source (based on Likutei Halakhot, laws of shaving.)

 

Yet at the same time the material world adorns and beautifies the Divine glance.  The radiance of holiness is too brilliant for us to perceive unless it is clothed in its worldly manifestations.  Furthermore, the "nether dwelling" of the Divine presence beautifies its manifestations by enabling them to scintillate through the breathtaking complexity and intricacy of the natural world.  An example we have already discussed is the rainbow, which is a cloud which partially obscures the sunlight, yet for this very reason makes us aware of the brilliant spectrum of colors hidden in the seemingly uniform white of the sun (Chapter 60.)

 

When the hair is allowed to grow, its aspect of concealing is augmented, while the prohibition on grooming means that its aspect of adorning is diminished.  This reminds us of death, which removes the Divine image of the departed and its special contribution to our perception of God

 

PROHIBITION ON TEFILLIN

 

Although the mourner is obligated in all mitzvot; on the first day of his shiv'a a man is forbidden to don tefillin (phylacteries).  When God gives a special commandment to Yechezkel not to mourn over his wife, He says, "Don your glory" (Yechezkel 24:17.)  Our Sages say that this refers to tefillin, which Yechezkel would normally have been forbidden to wear on his first day of mourning (Mo'ed Katan 15a.)

 

At the simplest level, this is based on the fact that tefillin are a glorious "garment" which exemplify our dignity, and so is forbidden for the same reason a mourner wears a torn garment, sits on the floor, and grows his hair.

 

Beyond this, the tefillin particularly emphasize the dignity and sanctity of the body.  By securely tying these holy objects, with verses of the Torah inside, to our bodies, without any interposition, we exemplify the fact that the material body is fitting to be coupled and joined with holiness.  As we explained in chapter 10, the tefillin both express and augment the purity of the body.

 

Death reminds us that without the presence of the divine soul, the body is no longer the abode of holiness and purity.  During mourning we remind ourselves of the moribund, purely material aspect of our bodies, and so we take one day on which we do not wear our tefillin.